Friday, February 17, 2006


Two things

First, something that never fails to get on my nerves: confusion about white South Africans. Since I mentioned a while back on this site and in comments on other blogs that I grew up in South Africa, I’ve had a couple of people call me a Boer. Leaving aside that I wasn’t born in the country, and my parents are both European, white South Africans come from a variety of ethnic backgrounds, as do black South Africans (which is also often forgotten). The two biggest groups among whites are the English-speaking South Africans and the Afrikaners. The latter outnumber the former by approximately four to three. Afrikaners are descended mainly from Dutch, Flemish and Huguenot settlers and speak Afrikaans. They formed the backbone of the apartheid government between 1948 and its demise in 1994. English-speaking South Africans come mainly from British settlers who arrived later than the Dutch.

Afrikaners are sometimes called Boers because the word means ‘farmer’ and most of the agricultural land is owned by them. The term Boer is nowadays considered an insult, except by a hard-core of right-wing Afrikaners who proudly hold on to the name. The English speakers on the other hand historically ran most business in the country, including the all-important gold and diamond mines. Abusive terms for this group include ‘rooinek’ meaning redneck (because of their tendency to get sunburnt easily), and my favourite, ‘soutie’ which is short for ‘soutpiel’ or ‘salty prick’, a reference to their perceived divided loyalty between Africa and Europe, such that they have one foot in each continent with their penises dangling into the ocean.

As are black people, Afrikaners are subject to racist stereotyping, and there are plenty of liberal Boers just as there are fascist reactionary souties.

Second: I’m thinking of posting some naked pictures of myself on this site in order to make some extra cash. This would of course entail a subscription fee to access this site, but I’m sure that won’t be a problem. Please give me some idea if there’s a demand for this. As a taster, I include a photo of one of my nude feet at the top of this post.

Post away! What is all that crap on your foot?
I think the boar accent is funny. Don't they say "blick" instead of "black"?
That and, Ey'm frum sud efrikka."
See, this is exactly the sort of ignorance I'm trying to eradicate. GB, both Afrikaners and English-speaking South Africans pronounce the short 'a' sound as short 'e' or even 'i', but that doesn't mean they talk funny like. FMC, I don't know what that was that you quoted but it sure wasn't Sarf Effrican. Away wit' ye!

Incidentally, GB, do you know the story of Max the gorilla? A hero for our time, he was.
Hey, thanks for this social studies lesson. (I so enjoyed the one on England, Ireland, Wales, and Scotland too.) I have been having a distant crush on a South Afrikaner for a year. He must be the English variety. I wonder what his foot looks like. Yours is a mess, Footeater. I can't see paying to see that, or any other of your body parts. If you want me to look at that again, you'll have to keep your site admission free. Take some vitamins, for crying out loud.
I'm basing my accent on the works of Tom Sharpe who has the capacity to make me snort tea out my nose laughing. God Footie, that photo, it is gross. Seriously, is that a fungal infection?
When you say that's "your foot" do you mean that it's one of the two that you walk with, or it's one that you a currently in possession of as the former owner has no longer any use for it?
I don't know Max but he seems like a good sort. Notice how he didn't torture the intruder: just a quick bite on the arse before flinging him against the wall.
You know, considering your nickname, Foot Eater, that foot is ghastly... I hope you don't actually live up to that nickname. Shit, I wouldn't even let you play footsie with me with that foot...
That foot is the main reason I hate sandals. Put that shit away.
Well, I have posted worse pictures.

I've had a skinful so I'm in no state to reply to each of you individually. Sorry. All I'll say is: Riotous Assembly and Indecent Exposure are classics; tinea pedis; and what do you mean 'nickname', Lindy?

Dear Mr Eater,

I am truly disturbed by your flagrant exhibition of your foot. In this day and age, when moral fibre is at an all-time low, I am shocked that you would stoop to this!

Please allow me to clarify my position by referring you to my first ever post, and in especial this paragraph regarding feet -

"I hate the fuckers. I understand their purpose and appreciate them doing their job, but that doesn't change the fact that they are truly the most ugly part of the human body. Even the penis (an unattractive appendage if ever there was one) has to take a backseat to feet. And yet living in Sinless City where the climate is consistently pleasant I am constantly surrounded by people in fucking sandals! The strappy heeled shoes the girls wear are bad enough, even if they are adorning nicely pedicured feet, but the sandals? And then the mother of all horrors, the bastard flip-flops! (Thongs, if you're American). Because this is a city and not a nice white sanded beach (where I can just about cope with it all) those toes, pedicured or not, become blackened by the dirt and calloused by the hard pound on concrete and look like utter shite. It genuinely makes me feel like vomming, most particularly when people are slipping their shoes on and off in cafes and bars............"

Please, please refrain from further upsetting my delicate nature - no more fucking pictures like this!

Yours Sincerely,
B. McShae, esq.
The Foot Anti-Fetish Forum (FAFF)
Two things:
1) Me use to know white girl from South Africa when me was in college She say she was Afrikaner, but she talked good. When she get her US citizenship, we get big kick calling her African-American.
(for those of you who no know, that what we in states call... African-Americans)

2) Vomit.
Binty, just thought I'd let you know I have passed your missive on to the Union of Sock-makers and Podiatrists and they are considering legal proceedings. Free speech is not absolute and it brings with it responsibilities.

Monstee: is your second point a reaction or an instruction?
They say Ah free khan ss. I can do it, which was why I was popular with them.
Hope you remembered to roll your Rs, Doc (that's Rs, not arse).
I would have thought the Sock-Makers would have been behind me on this one... after all, I am actively engouraging people to cover up those unsightly things!
what a secsay foot you have.. foot.

even though people discriminate.. i don't see you as being the sort of pussy that would get his feelings hurt from it.

people are stupid dude.. it's just the way they are. it goes beyond ignorance. believe me. they don't want to be enlightened on the differences.

this is generally why i find the phrase african-american to be a generalized ignorant term for black. (which in itself is stupid) people are no more black than white. it's more of a peachy weirdish light brown. unless of course you are an albino..
McShae, i remember reading that post..

in America.. a thong is a type of under thing that lodges itself between the buttocks.

a flip flop is something you wear on your foot.
Clearly that foot was from one of his corpses, just before he sat down for a snack
Binty: yes, you're right; I didn't think that one through.

Sarah: I work for the National Health Service and we're forever being sent forms asking us to pigeonhole ourselves into one racial category or another. It's bloody ironic to me, having lived as I did under the apartheid system which was fanatical about racial classification.

And I think it's the Aussies who refer to flip-flops as thongs.

El Barbudo: much as it hurts me to say it (I seem to be saying that a lot lately), you've grasped the point of that picture. Don't get too smug, because I'm going to be exposing your identity over the next week.
i grasped it.. i just didn't want to go there. i didn't want to!!! so i didn't.
Footsie, the nickname I referred to is the name you go by here in bloggyland: Foot Eater. Now I ask you, does the foot in the picture you posted look like anything you'd want to get your face (especially your mouth) anywhere close to?! Not me... the irony in your choice of names and your choice of pictures was just apparent to me at the time, nothing more cryptic than that...
Australians say thong? Americans don't? Okay... my mishtake!
Lindy, I knew what you meant; I just wondered why you assumed Foot Eater was my nickname rather than my real one...
Well it could be your real name... I hadn't considered your parents might have actually chosen that name for you. My sincerest apologies...
It could have been worse. My brother's first name is Shit.
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