Saturday, March 04, 2006

 

Sort of like a post


Most weeks I refrain from struggling to come up with ideas for posts on this blog. A thought will arrive unbidden, undergo a rapid gestation and be born in a shower of dodgy grammar and typos. Since last Tuesday, however, the few ideas I’ve had have refused to grow, as if they’re stunting each other’s development in the womb that is my head, and now they’ve emerged sickly and mewling. Hence the briefly-sketched musings which follow.

I’ve been asked on this site and in the comments sections of other blogs why I seem to enjoy being insulted. Back before I started my own site and thereby became a bona fide blogger, when I used to scoot around the sites leaving comments which often did not go down well – when I was a troll, in other words – I used to attract, and sometimes even solicit, abuse. I’ve often wondered why. Since watching an interview with Larry David on one of his Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs the other day, I’m beginning to understand this quirk a little better. David was talking about how difficult it often is to film episodes of the series as he can’t keep a straight face when people are shouting and swearing at him. I recognised this experience. Perhaps it’s perverse, but I find something inherently hilarious about insults, not just witty and well-crafted ones but raging tirades as well, and especially when I’m on the receiving end. I wouldn’t say I’m a masochist; I don’t for example enjoy being chained to a post with an orange in my mouth while hot wax is applied to my nether regions. Well, not by just anyone, anyway.

That wasn’t a lie, but I do lie quite a lot in my posts, as most of us must do, and I’m becoming increasingly uncomfortable with it. I suppose this follows the usual pattern of human relations: as you become more familiar with people it becomes harder not to reveal more about yourself.

An update to the Blogosaurus: decomposommentation – the growth of comments to astronomical numbers on a blog post when no new posts have been forthcoming for a long time.

To end, some good news from a recent survey: 87% of people would rather visit The Fishwhacker Swindle? than be fisted with a rusty gauntlet wrapped in barbed wire.

Comments:
Couple of small requests:

1. Can you put a permanent link on your site to your blogosaurus, and keep keep it updated as you think of more. There are several times I've gone to refer to it but couldn't face crawling through your entire blog looking for it.

2. If you're struggling to get the creative juices flowing, try tackling a few Blunt Cogs scripts. It's gone pretty quiet over the past few days and we could do with a few more strips

Cheers,

Kim
 
Fuckin ell big boy, you've gone and got a map! Copy dog!

Lookit all the American visitors! That's a fanbase!

I agree with Kim, we should be allowed to submit new words for consideration for the thesaurus. I can't think of any rught now because I've caught Kim's ague. You caught it last Tuesday.

That's my first submission.
Kim's Ague: The inescapable feeling that one has said all one can on any subject and one would prefer now to bow out gracefully without any fuss.
 
...I thought up the phrase "Dream Weevil" yesterday.
Don't really know what to connect it to as of yet.
'probly gonna turn it into some gizmo in a fake news story or something supernatural.

Now I see why you were so easy on my poor, lamentable Anonymous27.
 
We all get creative blockage from time to time Footsie. Don't panic, it comes back!

Quick question... can I get the fisting WHILST visiting TFS? Thanks!
 
Even your writer's block is good, Footeater. I have mixed feelings about being hit with a rusty object or visiting your blog, but in the end, I'd rather come here to read your blog and what your regular visitors have to say than to take a punch.
 
You tell lies? Here?
 
Kim: good idea about the Blogosaurus, will get on it. And I've been trying to think of Cogs scripts for a while - I was going to do something about Schroedinger's cat but Monstee beat me to it, and a good thing too.

Doc: Kim's Ague is going in there once I've got it up (the thesaurus, that is; fnar fnar).

SafeT: Dream Weevil is excellent. Look forward to hearing about it.

Binty: you'll be delighted to know my fisting software is in the process of being installed so you'll be able to enjoy it soon.

JG: thanks, but I fear you're an innocent and have misinterpreted the word 'fisting'.

AB: no, I was lying about that.
 
That didn't seem so uninspired.


I guess that would qualify as a back-handed compliment, but I'm more of a soft-serve.
 
Hey!! I don't thing I have ever been horrible to you since you have started blogging(or before) I rather like your site, even when you claim you have forwarded my questions to the police.
 
Anyone remember the comment on Emerald Bile where the chap finished by saying:

And as I've never yet used the word 'cunt', I now say cunt, cunto, McCunt, cuntorium.

How I laughed!
 
hmm.. not much of a choice.

i'll save you the astronomical number of comments by just saying this once.

you're a cunt. keep up the good work.
 
Nobody is ever going to look at this thread again since it's old, so this is casting pearls before the void, but:

SafeT: the problem with you is that I'm too slow on the uptake to appreciate the intelligence of your remarks until days afterwards. That's why I often leave your comments hanging.

FMC: you've never been horrible to me - I was thinking more of the likes of El Barbudo, Noreen and that stupid fucker Mick Hayter.

GB: God damn, I do remember that comment but can't recall the context. Curse you for making me wallow in the Bilious archives. Fruitlessly.

Sarah: if you hadn't already made it to my Positive Feedback list, your comment (or one sentence, anyway) would have gone there. Then again, I suspect you're being affectionate.
 
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