The Fishwhacker Swindle?: In the realm of the synapses

Monday, January 23, 2006

In the realm of the synapses

I wish I had at least one relative as interesting as Tom Petty’s father, who spent his evenings hunting gators in the Florida swamps. Why is it that I always choose a movie over a book when faced with an idle couple of hours? On Harry Hutton’s site, Hungbunny comments that ‘Anonymous’ is always synonymous with ‘cunt’ – perhaps someone should create a Blunt Cogs cartoon of Anonymous. I hope Brewski’s all right. Red wine always seems to lead to dark stool. I can’t seem to find a consistent blogging voice. Where is the Ka-boom? Nostalgia is so common it must serve some evolutionary purpose. I will never stop picking at my nails. Green is supposed to be a relaxing colour but it hurts my eyes. There’s a twist at the end of The Turn Of The Screw which no-one else seems to have picked up, and I can’t understand why. I think the birds will evolve into the dominant life form on earth. I hate Coldplay. I wish I didn’t need to sleep except when I felt like it. Hospitals have an appealing smell. My urine has a funny aroma in the mornings. Some blind people are just pretending. Werewolves fascinate me. Nobody has ever taken me to a sports match. Writing is an effort and the results are disappointing. There’s no point to desserts and people who like them just haven’t had a big enough meal. I hate hearing the word ‘bitch’ used as a noun. Purple is an unnatural colour. My nuclear war post yesterday is the shittest, most uninspired shower of drivel I’ve ever read. I love dogs and I hate cats. I can’t mow the lawn because it’s been raining. Against my expectations I feel sorry for Mark Oaten. I’m a combination of extreme sloth and nervous, compulsive energy, like a car with the accelerator and the brake pedal both pressed down.

# posted by Foot Eater @ 10:22 pm

Comments:

Cheer up, Footsie, its just Mondayitis. Coldplay are great! So is Catpower! You need a bevvy or two.

# posted by

SheBah : 2:25 am

SB is right, Footie. Have a drink.

I was JUST THINKING about the red wine/dark stool connection. How odd! Same with Guinness, only stinkier.

# posted by

Andraste : 4:21 am

Poor Brewski,wherever he is won't be missed it you keep writing bollocks like that,won't he just love Blunt Cogs when he re-surfaces.

# posted by

the anti-barney : 4:24 am

Fucking hell Foot Eater.
I felt the same about that LibDem guy as well much to MY surprise. Father always says that the Liberal club went to shit once Jeremy Thorpe was outed as a murder planning lifter.
I said this at Barneys too, I had a long bit about the bomb thing at a certain age in your life for your comments, but when I read it back it was a lot of wank so I didn't bother.
Hungbunny sucks dead dogs cocks in hell.

# posted by

Dr Maroon : 5:07 am

SexyB: the sad thing is I've had today off. And Coldplay, I'm afraid, are the crusty bits on the underside of a dog's tail-root. Never heard of Catpower.

Andraste: I've never drunk enough Guinness at a sitting to discolour my shit. A pint or two tends to have a devastating effect, for some reason.

AB: I've always admired Brew's style and thought it might be interesting to post one idea per sentence. Clears the mind somewhat.

Doc: Please deposit any load of wank you come up with in future. As for Hungbunny, he scares me, even more than El Barbudo.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 9:27 am

foot eater: did you get the help you needed with the sidebar? if not, throw me an e-mail and i can probably help you.

sarahlaughs@gmail.com

# posted by

sarah : 3:24 pm

You want to speak with a consistent blogging voice, whateverthefuckthatis, or do you want to read someone with a consistent blogging voice?

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 5:02 am

Sarah:speakin' of template crap: did you get my reply with the modded header?

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 5:03 am

Speak with one, SafeTinspector; I read plenty of consistent ones every day.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 8:12 am

"Speak with one.."

Why?

# posted by

Dr Maroon : 10:02 am

i feel horrible, i've commented on this post and i JUST read it.

la footsie devourer.. everyone feels like that sometimes.. well, at least i do. most of the time.

especially this:
"I’m a combination of extreme sloth and nervous, compulsive energy, like a car with the accelerator and the brake pedal both pressed down."

you may find your writing to be drivel, but i'm currently amused. if that's the point, then it's been scored.

SafeT: yes, i replied to you on my tagboard. i'm so fucking lazy that i haven't tried implimenting your awesome java too. how much do i suck?? wait.. don't answer that.

# posted by

sarah : 11:03 am

Doc: see SafeT's earlier comment, to which 'speak with one' was referring.

Sarah: thanks for the endorsement.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 7:04 pm

....should I speak with a consistent voice?
I like saying whatever comes to mind...

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 8:21 pm

This is getting more tortuous than I'd ever intended. SafeTinspector, I meant 'I want to speak with a consistent blogging voice'. What I should have said in my first response to your comment was 'speak' with one, or perhaps speak with one. I wasn't casting aspersions on your voice or anyone else's but mine. The point I was trying to get at was that I've looked back over the posts I've made on this site and the style's all over the place, a mish-mash of borrowings fom other blogs.

Er, hope that clarifies things.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 9:11 pm

I know what you mean by speak with one vioce, what im asking is why? Why speak with one voice when you can speak with a dozen, twenty, any fucking mish mash copied fucked up, number you want. What? someone's going to say, oh, how very unoriginal, how unfunny, what did he mean by that, who cares? i stopped talking about myself because it was boring me to DEATH, but I might start again on sunday. In fact February the second. Got a problem with that?

# posted by

Dr Maroon : 12:31 am

Fair comment, Doc, but I like to think I could probably read a post by any of you lot and know who'd written it, even if it was anonymous.

I've been intrigued over the last few weeks by the spontaneous rules of etiquette and behaviour that have cropped up among this collection of bloggers. Might post about it if I'm in pensive mood.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 3:17 am

lucky that it's the opiates and not just the way you are Dr. E.

har har harrrrrr... bah!

La foot, your site looks GREAT!!! next, i think you should create a banner with a bunch of feet in it!

# posted by

sarah : 7:10 am

Thanks, Sarah; I have you to thank (and El Barbudo). Those quotes are all genuine, in case you're wondering. Will have to consider your feet banner idea.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 8:10 am

Footy I'm OK, thank you for your concern. Lost my Mum in a house fire, back in Britain, will post soon. Seize the day you cunts, cuz life is one funny old game.

# posted by

Brewski : 8:01 pm

Footie, I was dancing around it, but I'm with Doc M.
I don't believe I speak with a single voice, and I wouldn't necessarily want to. Get pigeonholed and you run the risk of getting repetetive and dull.
At least, I would run that risk.

Some would say I've already jumped that shark.

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 8:36 pm

Really sorry to hear it, Brewski.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 10:12 pm