The Fishwhacker Swindle?: Nadir

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Nadir

Hope everyone had a great Easter weekend. I did, though for some reason I got a few funny looks when I arrived back at work today.

The other day I went for a walk in the woods and took along my labrador, Fritz. He’s a gentle soul, as labradors are, and so when I left him by himself and wandered off to look at some ducks, I wasn’t surprised to see on my return that all manner of woodland folk had come up to make friends with him: squirrels, foxes and even a badger. I had to shoo them away, which I felt a bit sorry about, and Fritz himself seemed reluctant to part from his new acquaintances.

Imagine my surprise when a group of children and their mothers began to scream at the sight of him a few minutes later. I called after them that he wouldn’t bite but they didn’t seem to hear. Perhaps they were cat lovers?

That evening I told Vampirella about this curious episode. She sighed, put her hand on mine and said in that soft, touching way of hers: “Foot, it’s been six weeks now. Don’t you think it’s time to bury him?”

Blogosaurus entry: Wanker’s cramp – blogging block.

# posted by Foot Eater @ 8:06 pm

Comments:

When you were looking at the ducks, did any of them call for a policeman?

# posted by

Philip : 3:59 am

Is he on castors?

# posted by

fatmammycat : 5:59 am

In my experience of the natural process of decay, there isn't much left to drag around after six weeks. Surely you noticed he was a little lighter on the leash than usual?

# posted by

Dr Joseph McCrumble : 6:49 am

easter isn't until this sunday..

tosser.

don't tell me your dog died. now i feel horrible for the tosser bit.

i'm sorry.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:10 pm

Bury him?!?! After only six weeks?!?! That's crazy talk!!! You wife am crazy!!! Six weeks am perfect time for making stew!

# posted by

Monstee : 3:41 pm

Philip: they tried, but I stopped them.

FMC: damn, I wish I'd thought of that. It would have made him easier to dislodge when he snagged on the brambles.

Dr McC: come to think of it, he has been a little lighter of late. I just assumed he was getting fitter.

Sarah: ha ha, good one about Easter. And he's not dead, I won't have it.

Monstee: she is crazy, isn't she? I'm worried about what gene mix our children are going to inherit.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 4:45 pm

Why was the squirrel interested?
Is the pooch an animated carcass or were you dragging him? If the latter, that's cruel!

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 6:21 am

I find the image of a man dragging a dog carcass along with a leash funny.
:)
I came back to read it again so I can play taht image in my head once more.
Here, Cadaverous!

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 9:23 am

I suppose you could say he's on the fritz at the moment.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 7:43 pm

Damn the Fritz!

...I must say, in scrolling down the length of your blog I read "Wankers Camp" instead of "Wankers Cramp"

I want to hear more about that. Too bad it wasn't what was there.

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 8:34 pm

labradors are indeed foolish dogs

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:31 am

I like your Wanker's Camp concept, SafeT. Some of the best ideas arise out of misunderstandings.

I wanted to come back with a clever pun about Wanker's Camps but I can't think of one. Perhaps I'll bang one out later.

Fritz: down, boy. You're dead.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 6:58 pm

But I thought you "wouldn't have it," Footsie...?

I, too, loved the image of dragging the dead dog by the leash... I think that says something awful about me...

# posted by

LindyK : 9:24 am

Lindy, I've come to accept the inevitable. sniff

# posted by

Foot Eater : 5:00 pm