The Fishwhacker Swindle?: David Cameraman

Friday, January 06, 2006

David Cameraman

Well, he’s got my vote with a sense of priorities like this. Top Tory David Cameron asked yesterday:

As Britain faces an obesity crisis, why does WH Smith's promote half-price chocolate oranges at its checkouts instead of real oranges?

He’s right about the first bit. Snickers are much nicer. I’ve never cared much for chocolate oranges, though that film with Anthony Burgess wasn’t bad, especially that bit with the high-speed menage-a-trois to the tune of Rossini.

But why the fuck would any responsible newsagent be dispensing real oranges to the great unwashed? Those things are deadly. I once saw a man who’d been hit in the eye with a squash ball, and the impact had forced his eyeball against the lower orbital plate so that it had burst and the eye had sort of dropped down below the socket. One of your Burberry types could wreak havoc with a small, hard object like a citrus fruit.

No, Mr Cameron, you’re clearly a tofu-gobbling pinko and I won’t be voting for you after all.

# posted by Foot Eater @ 3:55 am

Comments:

Like all the Slough brigade, they are fixated with oranges.
They stick them in their mouths, half strangle themselves with ladies' nylons, and then jack off to Land of Hope and Glory. He gets my vote, the bean faced knob.

"We'll all pull together..."

Yeah we bet you do, you filthy bastards.

# posted by

Dr Maroon : 4:47 am

Just tried that myself, Doc, without much success. The juice was too tart to tolerate for more than a couple of verses and I kept gagging on it. Perhaps I'll try with an apple next time.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 8:03 am

Chocolate eye bags?
Hrm...
the "obesity" crisis. Manufactured fear is modern societies great assailant.

# posted by

SafeTinspector : 1:24 pm

Yes, as others have said before, it was only a few years ago that we were in the grip of a heroin-chic, anorexia panic. What's next? A dangerous epidemic of average weight?

# posted by

Foot Eater : 5:11 pm

Leave Cameron alone,he brought the great Boris Johnston back to the back benches,an eventuality I had punted @ 14/1,luvvly jubly.

# posted by

the anti-barney : 11:21 pm

Fourteen to one? Boris is so popular with the public he'll be PM one day. Though fathering a foetus adulterously might handicap him a bit.

# posted by

Foot Eater : 8:13 am