Wednesday, August 08, 2007



well, have fun, whateverthefuckyouaredoing.
Tell me where yer grave is so I can go and water the flowers.

So anyway was yer post about Global warming? cos thats a load of old bollocks.
What does that mean? Taking a nap? A vacation? You quit? Say it isn't so. You would be missed.
You're all reading too much into this. Can't a man post a tribute to Rondo Hatton six months and six days after the anniversary of his death?

Now I really am off.
lookit, el b shows his love and you don't even acknowledge it.

or maybe that "x" is a sight from the scope of his sniper rifle.

i might watch my back, if i were you.
I'm back, for a moment.

Sarah: shows his love is about right. That X is his puckered anus and he's trying to seduce me. Where's that fucken baseball bat...?

Binty: &
Shit. Really? You'll be back. Visit us! ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Hey, once you had this "lifecycle of a blog" post. Where were you when you posted this?
Ciao toots, you were something, really something.
He was something all right.
Why RIP?
Doc, is it the "P" in RIP you object to?
You could always go the old saw way and claim it to be pieces instead of peace, or portcullis. YES!
Rest In Portcullis!
No actually it's the I that I object to.
Is that it then?
You silly fools. You're taking rumours of my death far too seriously.

I'm on holiday!

Right now it's one-thirty in the morning and I'm sitting in shorts in an internet cafe on the Cape Town seafront, with Table Mountain in the background and the Atlantic stretching beneath the moon for miles ahead. The dark sky outside is clear, the weather's warm and balmy, and I've already got a killer tan just four days into my three-and-a-half week African visit.

'I always said I was going to be back blogging in December.'

This is THE STATEMENT to which reference will henceforth be made.

SafeT: I'll visit you when I'm good and ready. Please see THE STATEMENT above.

FMC: away wit' yer "Were someting'" already. Oi'll be back. Please see THE STATEMENT above.

Maroon: if ye're getting all pissy about the 'I' because you think it should be lower-case, just as you did eighteen months ago when you whinged in your typical Scotch way about my acronym for the Chipping-under-Norton Thespian Society.... then, with the greatest respect, fuck off. If there's some other point you're trying to make, then fuck off also, because you're being obscurantist. I like your blog, by the way.

Also: no true Scot uses the word actually. Book yourself a session with the Spankmistress, you ghey Cambridge type, you.

Eddie: no. Please see THE STATEMENT above.

Now I'm off to grow my bleached hair and feel the surf feathering my feet while I enjoy a cold beer on the beach in the early hours.

Travel beats blogging. Spread the word.
I hate fake Scotsmen, jump on the band wagon cos we're so cool, I never use the 'A' word I prefer to use 'cunt' instead, making sense is for the weak. Another holiday? you take more holidays than the McCanns, fucking doctors huh?
Long fucking holiday, you lucky cunt...
Oh come on
I just wanted to remind you that yer a cunt.
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