Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Like fishing with dynamite

Taking potshots at David Hasselhoff is hackneyed, lazy and indicative of a peculiarly low sensibility. Nonetheless, I direct you to what has apparently been a long-running joke on Amazon: the growing collection of customer reviews of his Greatest Hits album. There are some gems here, and I’ve been laughing out loud for the last half hour. I have also lost thirty minutes of my life which I will never reclaim.

Still, it’s not as if the sad sod doesn’t deserve everything he gets. Check this out if you disagree.


Not 24 hours after I posted this, the link to the crucial second item is dead, and all the other Google links to the relevant clip lead to video screens which don't play!

Have I killed David Hasselhoff's career? Or - worse - killed HIM?*

Dave, man, if you're there, I loved Knight Rider when I was 12 and 13. That car and that soundtrack were brilliant. And I quite liked Baywatch as well... those plots, that tension! I watched with every sinew straining, the blood throbbing in my veins as only a 21-year-old's does. Watching the programme on Digital Versatile Disc over a decade later, I notice for the first time that the ladies were rather pretty too.

Sorry, Hoff, me old mucker, seriously. If by the remotest chance you're still out there, drop me an email some time. We'll have a beer and talk about how crap TV and music is nowadays. To make amends, I'll write you into my weblog somehow.

*or is there something wrong with my furrcken internet connection

I'm weak and spent, Footles.

All these years lusting after Sean Connery - if only I'd seen The Hoffmeister jet-packing in front of some leaping flames, or doing his repeated electric shock inspired dancing whilst biting the lower lip, I'd have given it all up for him, baby. Oh, the manity!

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Thanks for that, after a somewhat dismal evening in Chez Problem
For your positive feedback section:

"He Ate my Foot. The cunt. I still love him though."

Sam: after a little research, I've learned that Hasselhoff might - just might - be sending himself up with that song. Lessens the impact a bit, I think.

R Swipe: sorry, but that sounds too manufactured to qualify. What do you think this is, Insult Idol? That said, welcome, and if you stick around long enough you'll find that like most people you'll be provoked into genuinely abusing me.
"Taking potshots at David Hasselhoff is hackneyed, lazy and indicative of a peculiarly low sensibility."

Well, I am, but really!

DH is a judge on an upcoming Simon Powell production here in the US. Some sort of gong-show derivative.

I saw a clip where an atrocious performance prompted DH to pantomime talking into his wrist-watch: "Kit, get me out of here!"

Fuck him.
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